Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Who's a Ninja dog?

Certainly not this boy! While I prefer to be called Lord Banjo, as is only my due given my royal lineage (more on that in my very first blog), I will answer to Banjo Boy, Buddy Boy, the Prince and even just Banjo, but I draw the line at Ninja dog.  What the heck is a Ninja dog, anyway? I’ve seen those ugly Ninja Turtles on TV, and I don’t look anything like them. All I know is that my dad came up with this latest somewhat insulting nickname.

Though some may disagree, I’m actually pretty darned intelligent.  That’s why in the warmer months I spend lots of time on the tile floor in the royal bathroom.  Right, you thought perhaps it was a guest bath?  Not! I would take over the master bath, but Dad seems to think that’s his domain and regularly runs me out of there. That leaves me the hallway bathroom. I can easily shift from my usual commanding post at the top of the stairs over to the much cooler bathroom—the one sleeping spot in the house that Puddin’ hasn’t usurped. Despite the heat, she can still be found most nights stretched out in the middle of my big round dog bed in the bedroom.


 Never fear; I still wander into the bedroom to check on Mum throughout the night, and you can count on my being there in time to wake her up no later than 7.  Most of the pre-dawn hours, though, I spend holding down the bathroom floor. You may recall that my Great Pyrenees heritage gives me a rather imposing frame. Yes, I’m still coming in at just under eighty pounds despite the starvation diet I’ve been on.  Thus, when I slide into a reclining position, you will occasionally hear a gentle thud.

That sound woke my dad the other night, and he got up to see whether we had an intruder. Silly man, the house alarm didn’t go off, but I guess he was groggy and not thinking clearly.  He did think to first check the royal bathroom, though, since I was not lying by Mum’s bedside.

Sure enough, I was lying on the cool bathroom floor with my nose peeking out the doorway.  It’s kinda nice that he checked on me, as I’ve gotten stuck in there on occasion.  No laughing allowed!  Sometimes I roll over in my sleep and accidentally push the door to.  I bamboozled the critter sitter one time when she couldn’t find me.  She knew she’d left me in the house that morning and I had to be in the house somewhere. She finally thought to check upstairs. Imagine her surprise and my relief when she opened the bathroom door.

Dad has tried to explain that Ninja popped into his head because I’m covered in royal black fur and difficult to see in a dark room.  I’m not sure I’m buying that, but all will be forgiven if that name is never uttered again.  And, a bit of grovelling on his part wouldn’t hurt either. 

Fan mail for Lord Banjo may be sent to The Ink Penn.