Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Yippee! Another trip to summer camp

I thought I wouldn’t get to go back until September, but Mum and Dad took an August trip without me, so I was unexpectedly dropped off at Miss Beverly’s camp once again. I whimpered a bit when Mum and Dad first left but soon got back into the swing of things with Miss Beverly and my many Decatur admirers. 

You’ll get a kick out of the first email Miss Beverly fired off to my parents. It seems I caught her off guard with my newfound energy.

***

Dear clients, 
Forget this getting in shape stuff! The new leaner, meaner Banjo boy is killin’ me!  He cried when he caught sight of me grabbing for the leash this morning, and he ran to the back door. When I opened it, he was down the steps in a flash—Banjo, flash, mind you. Then we were off to the races! No just lazily walking for this boy. For fifty minutes (and I know the precise number because I gasped through each one of them), he walked briskly while I trotted and ran and sprinted and stumbled to keep up.

Recovery time
The temps were not bad, but the humidity was 82%. I passed a neighbor on her way to our Friday morning exercise class as Banjo and I approached the home stretch, and she had the audacity to ask me if I were going to the class. Guess she missed my beet red face, dripping sweat, and labored breathing.

Banjo is recovering with both a ceiling fan and floor fan blowing on him.  Me? I may never recover.

Sincerely,
Miss Beverly

***

Dear Mum and Dad, 
Mark it on the calendar!  I GALLOPED!  The date, August 5, 2016, at 7:58 pm. Not a fast walk or a trot but a real gallop. Mind you, it was not that far, just the length if the kitchen, BUT IT COUNTS! I was sooo excited to take yet another walk.  Miz  Beverly, however, was not all that excited about another wild ride so was relieved that my adoring fans slowed our pace to a crawl. We couldn't get more than let's say ten yards before someone stopped us to inquire about my heritage or my name and Oh Lordy, those little toy humans just can't stop themselves from throwing their arms around my neck and smothering their little faces in my fur. The motherly commands of "just pet the doggie" are totally ignored which is fine by me. We escaped the crowds long enough to get in a brisk walk through a neighborhood only to be stopped on our return by two nice older couples dining together outside Ted's Montana Grill. They had a couple of those starter dogs who really liked me and one of the gentlemen was extra smart ‘cause he asked if I were a Great Pyrenees mix. The waitress who brought their food out exclaimed over me too and insisted on going inside and bringing me a treat. Friday night in Decatur is the BOMB! 

Love,
Your Boy Banjo

***

Dear Mum and Dad, 
The Royal Physician aka Miss Beverly has gotten all serious on me and is recommending I lose MORE weight.  Her notes claim that we “agreed” on this course of action.  Don’t believe a word. 

She rudely mentions chest fat.  I believe she fails to realize that my breed, the Great Pyrenees,  boasts a massive chest and, as a male, I have a massive "manly" chest.

Is there no end to this madness?  I think this diet plan is payback for me wearing her out the first morning.  Please take her report with a BIG grain of salt.

*** 

Notes from the Royal Physician:

Lord Banjo arrived yesterday at our Decatur clinic for his three-month evaluation. I am happy to report that he looked much more fit to rule, and he reported that he indeed feels better; however, we agreed that there is more to accomplish.

He needs to slim down two more pounds by the time he is reevaluated in our Decatur location the end of September. The loss of these two pounds should help reduce the chest fat that is still a bit worrisome. To accomplish this goal, we need to establish his daily food intake as a scant two cups with one low-calorie treat in the early afternoon. Daily exercise should continue but should be of short duration while the heat and humidity remain high.

Lord Banjo reports that he has a little difficulty rising  off the ground, which we attribute to early stages of arthritis. We also observed his front legs trembling slightly during his walks.  He says he takes a joint supplement but increased weight loss will also relieve the stress on his joints.

 If I can be if further assistance, please call my office.

Sincerely,
The Royal Physician

Lord Banjo  welcomes  comments from admirers who agree he is a perfect size.  
Please write him at  The Ink Penn.