Kitty sues pet parents for neglect

Reprinted from the Highlands Newspaper

Princess Puddin'

Did you read about Lord Banjo’s marvelous vacation to Anytown, USA?  The Royal Pooch got to accompany the Royal Parents to a mountain town in March, and I was left behind.  Not that I “wanted” to travel; I just didn’t want to be abandoned.

Sure, my pet parents occasionally take off for a long weekend, but when they’re gone longer than that, a critter sitter usually appears.  Sometimes the sitter stays at our house with us and takes care of both Banjo and me; other times, when Banjo goes to stay with a friend or, like this time, goes with our parents, some sweet little girls show up to check on me.

This time, however, none of these things occurred.  I don’t think it matters that the sweet little girls have to hunt me down if they want to see me when they visit.  Do you?  Mum has alerted them to all my hiding spots, so they can find me.

Likewise, I shunned the last critter sitter who stayed with us for three weeks when Mum and Dad went to England.  We have two couches, and I chose to sit on the one she wasn’t occupying.  I never slept with her either.  Could that be because she took up way too much time with my canine brother?  Heck, she even took him jogging. Still, me being standoffish is no reason not to have someone take care of me.

This time around, my parents left me an extra cat pan, my automatic dry food dispenser, a humongous bowl of water and my automatic water dispenser.  I was in no danger of starving or getting dehydrated, but several things were amiss.

First, I got no wet food the whole time they were gone.  You know I’m accustomed to dabs of wet food all day long. Also, I got no milk in the morning.  Worst of all? There were no treats.  I hang out in Mum’s office most of the day, except for my several hours curled up on Mum and Dad’s king size bed.  I get treats from the desk drawer pretty much any time I look at Mum pleadingly or jump up on the desk or stroll into the office meowing.

Is it any wonder that I talked and talked as I came yawning out of Dad’s office when everyone came home? Yes, Dad has an office too, and I’m partial to his desk chair and the dog’s bed in that room.

Mum and Dad were amazed at how talkative and how affectionate I was.  Typically, I snub them when they first come home, but this time I was starved for my special food and treats, and yes, affection.  Mum was further amazed that I slept with her every night for a week. I’m not usually that consistent, especially as the weather warms up. I’m more of a snuggler when it’s cold. I even got in Mum’s lap each morning when she drank her coffee in her comfy chair.

I was sticking close to her so she wouldn’t want to leave me again, but I’m already hearing talk of an upcoming weekend trip and a week out West in the summer.  Will she and Dad never learn that there’s no place like home? It just may take a lawsuit to get their attention.  Does anyone know a good kitty lawyer?

Princess Puddin’ Penn resides in Georgia with her dad, her mom Kathy Manos Penn, and her canine brother Lord Banjo. Please send comments, compliments, and questions to inkpenn119@gmail.com. She appears in “Lord Banjo the Royal Pooch,” a book that can be found on Amazon.