Lord Banjo's parenting tips for pet parents

I consider Mum and Dad to be pretty good in the parenting department.  They love me; they feed me; they walk me; they give me belly rubs, and they take me on trips.  I have a dog bed in every room--though they’re often occupied by Princess Puddin’.

Thanks to Mum, I’m also a well-dressed boy. I make quite the fashion statement in my lovely purple velvet robe trimmed in white fur with a purple collar to match.  I guess I could be a tad more fashionable if I also had a coordinating leash, but I think the red ones Mum likes are spiffy.

In the healthcare department, much to my dismay, my parents are vigilant about me getting annual everything: shots, senior bloodwork, and dental cleanings.  I visit the groomer every six weeks unless I’ve gotten into the creek or something like deer “you know what”—then I go asap no matter how recently I may have visited. 

Though the Royal Parents don’t have any two-legged kids, Mum likes to read the weekly parenting column in the paper. As she smiled and shook her head at a recent one, I asked, What’s so funny,” Mum.

“Banjo, this one’s about mistakes that parents make, and I’m wondering whether we make any of them with you and Puddin.”

We both agreed that Mum and Dad were not guilty of the first mistake—paying too much attention to the kids.  Sure, they talk to us and pet us, but they don’t stop everything they’re doing to tend to us.  They don’t “idolize” us as the article mentioned; they just love us. Mum and Dad do things without us, like ride their bikes, go to plays, and, goodness knows, they take plenty of trips without us.

When they’re home reading, watching TV, cooking, working at their computers, and all the other things parents do with their time, they’ll tend to us if we need something.  Lots of the time, though, they’re quick to say, “Stop it, Banjo, you don’t need to be touched every minute.” I disagree with them on that point, but I take it in stride. 

I did LOL when Mum read that one mistake was “squatting at the level of a two-legged child “ to speak with one. The writer thought this made the parent seem servile. Mum occasionally gets down on the floor to snuggle with me but only because she won’t let me in her lap or on the bed. To talk to me, she stays in her chair or stands upright. I do not require either parent to bow at my feet, even if I am a Royal Pooch so I say they’re not guilty on that count.

The article didn’t mention that it was bad to play favorites, but I think that’s an important point.  I think I’m the favorite dog and Puddin’s the favorite cat, and I’m OK with that.  I do think Puddin’ has a slight edge in the snuggle department, though.  I don’t ever hear Mum or Dad say, “Get down Puddin’; I don’t want you in my lap.” Mum may fuss a tiny bit when Puddin’ gets in the bed and positions herself on Mum’s chest blocking the book Mum’s reading, but the fussing always comes with a smile.

Despite a slight downgrade in the favoritism area, I give Mum and Dad an A in parenting.  They can earn an A+ by allowing me to sleep in the bed with them.  There’s plenty of room for me to lie in the middle as long as Puddin’ stays snuggled on someone’s back or tummy. Wouldn’t you agree that’s a perfect plan?

Lord Banjo lives in Georgia with his Mum, Kathy Manos Penn. Find similar stories in his book, “Lord Banjo the Royal Pooch,” available on Amazon. Contact him at inkpenn119@gmail.com.